


Swallowed Whole

by Tay_Tay_theterrible



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Broken Promises, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Haruno Sakura-centric, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jinchuuriki!Sakura, Morally grey Sakura, NaruSaku but also platonic, Near Death Experiences, Physical Abuse, SakuSai but platonic, Sakura Haruno has issues, Sakura Needs a Hug, Sorta depressed sakura, Three-tails is kinda evil, honestly poor sakura, lots of blood, paranoid Sakura, she is not in love with Sasuke, she needs some actual guidance too, wave mission gone wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tay_Tay_theterrible/pseuds/Tay_Tay_theterrible
Summary: "The fire couldn't touch me, for I have burned one too many times,and the sea cannot harm me, for I've been drowning all my life.Oh, but you could rip my heart open, darling, For I've never known love before." -R. /asthreriaSakura was brought into this world knowing nothing but joy, but sometimes joy wasn't enough. Instead, she sometimes found herself wishing the darkness, that consumed all that she was, would swallow her up. That this had never happened. That her life would return back to normal. That she'd open her eyes and nothing would be different. But it never did. She was still trapped in the endless nightmare, day after day.She was still a monster.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 180





	1. Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the Naruto Universe. This is just one fanfic that I've had in my head since the beginning of watching Naruto that  
> I never got around to write. I hope you like it.
> 
> Also, there's quite a bit of gore. SO it's rated mature. Also includes abuse... so please read at your own risk.

Playlist while writing this fic. 

Music for the end of the world- Worldhaspostrock (It's like a youtube song compilation)

10 feet tall- Cavetown  
Another one of those days- Cavetown  
Dear- Cavetown  
Devil town- Cavetown  
It's all good- Cavetown  
It's U- Cavetown 

Candle- Cavetown  
I know a place- cover by Cavetown  
Meteor Shower- Cavetown  
Poison- Cavetown

Afraid- The neighbourhood 

Daddy Issues- The neighbourhood (slowed ver)   
How- The neighbourhood (slowed ver)

Echo- GUMI Megpoid (Crusher-P)  
Crash- Neovaii

Lilith- Ellise  
Nightmares- Ellise  
Under my bed- Ellise  
Bruises- Ellise 

Bittersweet tragedy- Melanie Martinez  
Dead to me- Melanie Martinez  
Crazy- Melanie Martinez  
Haunted- Melanie Martinez

Hope it haunts you- Citizen Soldier  
Would anyone care- Citizen Soldier 

What you deserve- No Resolve  
Eater of Worlds- Everyone Loves a Villain

Begging to bleed- 8 Graves  
Burning alive- 8 Graves  
Better of dead- 8 Graves  
Numb- 8 Graves  
Bones- 8 Graves  
RIP- 8 Graves  
Beast- 8 Graves

I scare myself- Beth Crowley  
Red- Beth Crowley  
Gone- Beth Crowley  
The Dark- Beth Crowley  
Nothing Left- Beth Crowley  
I Am Not Nothing- Beth Crowley

Happy Violence- Zero.Miz-kun. (Kinda like a remix thing)

You belong to me- Cat pierce

I'll add more as I go

Also, it kinda hit me... most of these songs are like... kinda emo. Whoops?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sakura cried, chains rattling as she tried to get free. Desperately pulling and tugging, the chains wouldn't budge. Frustration welled up in her as she struggled harder. No one was here, this was the perfect time to escape. To get away. She couldn't stay here. She jerked the chains again, wanting to scream. They never gave, unrelenting forces of metal that kept her trapped.

This wasn't how her first mission out of the village was supposed to go. She wasn't supposed to be captured. This never should’ve happened to her. She wasn’t supposed to be here! It was supposed to be an escort mission where nothing went wrong! Where Sasuke-Kun saw how strong I could be! He was supposed to fall in love with me, and we’d get stronger together. She thought with increasing amounts of dispair. It didn’t look like that would happen. Ever.

Her body went limp, the chains pooling around her as her head hung. She wasn't strong enough to get out of here. She could never do anything. She was always so weak, always the one that needed saving. She didn't have enough stamina, enough chakra. She had no clan to teach her. Everything was against her. Naruto had his massive chakra reserves, and such a carefree attitude and Sasuke was just perfect. She had nothing. She _was nothing._

Her head shot up, eyes wide. Wait, maybe that's why they grabbed her? Because she had nothing, she was nothing. She was a blank canvas to them. Something they could use and mould to fit what they wanted. Her gaze became downcast as she tried to study the seal they'd placed on her. She grimaced when she remembered she was bare, with nothing covering her chest. Another reason to escape. The seal was black, nearly overpowering against her milky skin, and the pattern was obscured. She didn't know what it was or why she had it. All she remembered was the pain. Pain and humiliation. The seal was a mystery to her, one she'd need to look into. If she was ever going to escape that is. 

What if it's going to make me stronger? She wondered to herself, morbid curiosity causing her to try and see the seal better. She sat up, trying to bend her body in a way that would give her the best look at the black seal. If it made me stronger would I use it then? She looked at the inky mess on her chest. A seal. Couldn't they use a seal to use her? What if this was a sleeper seal, or what if they’d made her a bomb? Would they let her go to destroy her village? Her people? No. She couldn’t let that happen. She _wouldn’t_ let that happen. 

She shook her head, she wouldn't know what the seal was until she had someone who knew how to read seals. She was no help to herself trying to unravel its mystery.

She needed to concentrate on escaping. She couldn’t worry about what they’d done to her. It didn’t matter, as long as she could still move. As long as she could still fight. She tugged at the chains again, as if they'd have weakened from her pulling from before. They didn't. She wanted to curse. Of course, she’d skipped all physical exercise making her muscles if she could call them that, offering up no help. 

She breathed in deeply, trying to stop the fresh tears from spilling out onto her face. She tilted her head back, hoping that she wouldn't be reduced to a crybaby. She hated feeling like this. Weak and useless. That seemed to be all she was. 

**Pathetic.** A voice rumbled, deep and menasing. 

She froze, eyes darting around. Where had that voice come from? She didn't hear anyone else in the room with her, nor did she sense any other chakra. So who had called her that? She'd already checked to see if she was in a genjutsu and nothing happened when she released it. What was going on? 

**Stupid Child.** The voice grumbled. 

She opened her eyes, blinking in confusion. Her skin was damp from, she sat up and looked, water. The water had gentle waves brushing against her legs. Cool droplets dripped down her back. But how could there be water? 

Where was her cell? Where were the chains? Instead, she found herself partially submerged in water. The water itself was nearly black. The more she looked down at it, the more she was sure something would reach up and drag her underneath to her watery grave. 

This had to be a genjutsu. Just one you never noticed. She thought to herself. Trying to calm her racing heart. 

**"Look behind you."** The voice said, louder than before, almost booming. 

She whirled around, eyes wide as she stared at the massive cage. The bars were dark grey, and inside it was dark. She noted that the water was flowing out of it. Must be how the water is rippling. She screamed as a giant red eye opened to stare at her. What the hell was that thing? Where.... why.... what the hell? 

"Who are you! Where are we? What do you want?" She cried out, terror filling her. 

The thing chuckled darkly, and she could hear water splashing as it moved. The eye rose higher as she trained her neck to keep it in view. The creature itself was massive, dwarfing her in its size. Larger than anything living she’d seen before. Just the sheer size of it was enough to cause her breath to still. It could easily kill her.  
Please don’t try to kill me. 

**"We're in your mindscape. I'm what you humans,"** He said the word like it was filthy, **"Call a tailed beast."**

She gulped as she tried to feel brave.

"That doesn't explain what you want from me?"

The creature let out another chuckle, one as equally as dark as the first. It really was a menacing sound. **"I want to be free. But seeing as I've been sealed into yet another host I suppose I want to break us free."**

"I can't break free. The chains are too strong." 

The creature sighed, the same kind of sigh her mother did when she'd thought Sakura had done or said something stupid. Did this creature think she was stupid? She almost snorted. Of course, it thinks you’re weak. Look at it. You can _feel_ the power wafting off of it. It was almost suffocating. 

**"With my help, you can."**

She studied it, all she could see was a shadow bulky build and a bright red eye. Could she really trust it? It already terrified her, but just because she was scared of it didn’t mean it was evil did it? 

"What do I need to do?" She asked, wary. 

If she could see the creature she knew it would've been grinning. A dark twisted one, but a grin nonetheless. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. It left her with a very bad feeling. Maybe she shouldn’t trust it. 

**"All you need to do is give me control."** It said, in almost a satisfied purr.

"Give you control?" She asked, thinking it over. "Would you give me back control?" She asked, the weird feeling in her gut intensifying. She didn't trust the creature. 

**"Clever."** It praised. **"Not many think to ask that."**

"Will you give me back control?" She asked again. 

**"I give you my word."** It rumbled. 

"You will give me back control after you've gotten us free and back to my team?"

 **"I said I give you my word."**

"Promise that you'll go straight to my team after we've been freed and give me control?" 

The creature let out a grumble, almost like a growl. 

**"I like you."** It rumbled, a teasing undermine. **"Yes. I won't hijack your body or run away. I'll free us from this prison and get you back to your team."**

She nodded. "Thank you.... um.... how do we do that?" And how do I know that I can actually trust you? She left unsaid. 

Now she really thought the creature was grinning. 

**"Simple. Place your hand on the bars."**

She did as she was told, holding her hand over the bar. She didn’t touch the bar though, still haven’t quite committed to giving over control. Did she really want to do this? 

**"Well don't you want to be free?"** It rasped, moving forward. 

She touched the bars, eyes widening as she was dragged down. Something reaching up from underneath the water and pulling. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, bubbles exploding out of it. She struggled, trying to fight whatever was dragging her down. She didn't want to die. She never should've trusted this thing. Of course, it would kill her. What was she thinking? Why did she trust it? Oh god. She was going to die. This was it. This was the end. 

**"Calm down,"** It growled, red-eye glaring down at her in irritation. **"I gave you my word."**

She breathed in deeply, not understanding why she wasn't inhaling water. But did it asked, willing herself to calm down. Trying to stop her racing heart and twitchiness. She'd be fine. She just needed to trust it was all. Right? That wasn’t too hard. She could do that. Whether she should or not actually trust it she didn’t know. She fought back panic as she felt her body begin to move. 

The body was moving because of the creature but she couldn't help but feel scared. She breathed in deeply again, sinking lower. She twitched as her mind began to grow dark. Wanting to be in the light and see, but unable too. Soon Sakura was safely buried, asleep. 

**My turn.** The creature grinned.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was nice to be free, to have a body of his own. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been given a body. The last time he'd had a host give it to him willingly. He knew all about taking control of the body, he was half expecting the frail girl to fight him. He was almost disappointed she didn't, even if it made it less difficult for him. 

Chakra exploded out of the girl's body, pure unfiltered chakra. This sort of chakra in the right concentration was enough to burn a human alive. Though he supposed most humans knew that. It melted the chains restraining his host's body. He stood, stretching. His host's body was a young one, one he could easily work with. He couldn’t see all of it, but he was able to take in her appearance when she’d found him in her mindscape. A small whelp of a girl. Frail. She wasn’t as muscular or as flexible as he would’ve liked, but given time she would fit his ideals. She was really perfect for him. 

It had been so long since he'd been given control of his host's body. Honestly, he couldn't remember when any of his hosts had allowed him to have control of their body. Willingly anyway. He knew for a fact he'd forced many of his hosts to bow to his will, running amuck in their bodies. One of the things he enjoyed about his hosts, was the fact he could so easily ensnare them. He sat in their minds, watching through their eyes waiting for the perfect moment to catch them unawares and snap his jaw around them, trapping them. It was satisfying to slowly break his host's wills. 

He knew he'd given his word to his newest host, a small frail little thing. But it had been so long and he really wanted to have fun first. Maybe... if he proved he could be trusted he'd be allowed to control his host's body often? If nothing else he could try and weaken the seal and force her to give herself over to him. Surely she understood just what he could offer her. The power, the fear.

He laughed, it coming out higher-pitched and less menacing then he would have liked. Overall his new host was less menacing then he'd have liked. The frame was small, with very little curves and no muscle. Her chakra reserves from what he could tell, without his, were pathetic. How had she survived this long? By all rights, she should've been killed in a mission. She was just cannon fodder. He would not allow himself to be sealed into such a weak host. I'll have to fix that. He thought with a scowl. 

His attention shifted as he noticed a guard running down the hallway. He used the body to inhale, the musty and decaying scent of the cave bombarded his senses. His eyes lowered as he gazed at the oncoming guard. It's been so long. He thought with delight. 

Using his host's body, specifically her hands, he'd ripped the guard to shreds. Digging the small digits of the girl deep into the bowls of the guard, ripping them out. Her hands would make decent weapons. Blood sprayed, causing warm splatters to smear across the girl's face. He rolled his... her... their eyes back in a look of ecstasy. 

Oh, how I missed the smell and feeling of human blood. Such a metallic smell. He thought. He hadn’t been able to enjoy it in properly since his very last host. Now that boy was a perfect host. His blood lust nearly matched my own. The tailed beast thought.

More guards came running. 

More fun. 

The entire hallway was littered with bodies. Walls and floor coated with blood. Entrails and organs lay scattered like fleshy decorations. The host's body was drenched. Blood smeared across her body. Arms, once bare, were completely red, skin and blood cracked underneath fingernails. Pieces of human stuck in blunt teeth. He'd forgotten how much he'd loved the taste of blood. It reminded him of the human oceans, metallic. Bone flecks, like freckles, were splattered across the host's body. 

The host looked perfect with the gore caked onto her, the beast thought. The red didn't seem to clash with the abnormally bright pink hair. Her slim petite frame that once screamed weakness now bore a warning. Almost like the small fish, he'd seen in the waters he'd been in so long ago. Small creatures yes, but vicious.

He laughed, delighted. He really hoped his host would allow him out more. Her body, though weak, held so much untapped potential. She could be vicious if she was trained right.

He laughed once again, pulling his host up from her slumber. He wanted her to see just what she was capable of. To see how powerful she could be with his help. To show her how helpful she could be. 

Sakura rose higher, weightless, as she slowly awoke. Her eyes opened and she stared in horror. Screaming. 

Bodies were strewn around her, rippled and mangled. Everything was red. All she could see was red. The stench, overwhelming metallic tanginess, the stink ripped open bodies was overwhelming. 

Gagging, she fell to her knees. Retching as the ground squelched beneath her hands. Mouth open as vomit spewed past her lips. Her eyes filled with tears, back arching as more vomit spilled past her lips, joining the gore on the ground. Her arms were red as well, she noted as more vomit spewed forth. The ground seemed to spin, hr eyes couldn't seem to focus properly. 

What the hell was this? She thought. This has to be a genjutsu. She sat up slightly, a hand shot out to balance herself. With shaky hands, sticky from both blood and vomit, she tried to form the hand signs to release it. 

**"Don't you like it."** The creature asked, voice light... and happy. 

How could it be happy with all this... death? She wondered. Just what did she let loose onto the world?

**"Look at what you can do. What your fragile human body is capable of. Imagine what you could do with all my power."** The voice purred. 

She shook her head, falling onto her butt. "I don't want this. I didn't want this! I... You... I didn't... This isn't... I'm... I...." Tears welled up, overflowing and spilling down her cheeks. "No! I didn't do this! I didn't do this!" 

**"Ahh,"** The creature began, voice a whispery sound. **" but you're wrong. You did it all. Look at how amazing you could be!"** Its voice sounded so excited. Like it wanted her to hurt people, to tear them apart.

"No... no... you're wrong... I didn't... I... I didn't." 

She was forced down again, ripped from her body. She was screaming and clawing to get free. She didn't want to be the monster it was making her into. She wanted her body back. She didn't want to be a killer!

 **"You wanted my help,"** The beast hissed, angry. **"This is my help. You wanted to be free? You're free now. They will never, _ever_ be able to come for you again." **

"No this isn't what I wanted." She cried out, trying to hold onto the last strand that held her above the water. That stopped her from being dragged under. 

**"You should be thankful."** The creature spat. **"You would've led them right to your team."**

"Thankful?" She repeated, was he crazy? "Why would I be thankful? You just murdered people! Not even murder... you... you butchered them! It looks like a bloodbath! They didn't even stand a chance! Why would I be thankful?" 

The creature shook its head in the shadow, red-eye glaring down at her harshly. 

She screamed as she was yanked down underneath the water, her hand desperately trying to reach something that would keep her from going under. She screamed and screamed, falling deeper and deeper. The water entering her throat and causing her to choke. Her panic intensified. Everything went black. 

He was furious, hands clenched as he made her body stand. How dare she! How dare she be this upset. He's proven to her that she wasn't weak. He's saved them both. He saved her! And she dares throw it in my face and call me a monster? A killer? Ungrateful wretch. 

He'd found the exit a while ago, but he wanted to show his host just what she was capable of. She had to have known how weak she was. She was the weakest one he'd ever been sealed into. They really needed to work on her power. He would not have a useless host.

Shaking his head, sending pin locks flying, he made his way to the exit. She needed to cut her hair. He thought. She didn't have the skill nor power to leave it long. Instead, it would be used against her. 

He left the cave systems without looking back. There was nothing left in there anyway. Just dead bodies. 

It took a few hours to find the host's team, her body was not only weak but it was slow. They'd work on that as well. But he'd managed to find them. They were hidden away in a civilian's home. A fairly poor hiding spot. 

He walked up to the door slowly, expending his chakra net to see who he'd all run into. A civilian and... what he presumed to be Sakura's Sensei. Good. He really did not want to deal with any more brats. 

He knocked on the door. Allowing some of the host's emotions to fill him. Tears sprang up and overflowed instantly. Useless. 

The door swung open.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He waited for her sensei's chakra to leave the house, or to come toward them. He wanted to get out of the wretched host's body. He helped her and all she did was be an unthankful brat. He would break free once again, but for now, all he wanted to do was think. To plan. And to do that he needed to be able to put his full concentration toward it. Besides he did what the girl asked him to do. 

The woman who'd opened the door was still screaming. It was a thrill honestly, perhaps he'd try to convince the host to drench herself in blood more often. He liked the reactions. But first, he needed to bond with his host, to get her to trust him. Which was why he needed the sensei to get out now so he could plan. 

"Um... Excuse me?" He asked, wanting to grin as his voice, or rather his hosts’ voice, came out timid. Perhaps she’d be useful for something. He’d have to allow her to keep her timid nature or would that be too much of a hassle? He wasn’t sure, he could figure it out later. With concentration he pulled the muscles in her face, allowing it to twist into a pathetic sullen look. Eyes looking downward and expression sad. The tears he'd let fall helped the whole timid act he was sure. "Can you help?" 

The woman had finally stopped screaming and was staring down at her. Hands still clutched close to her and face ashen. 

"I need to find my team... Please can you help?" 

"Your team?" The woman squeaked, looking behind her. If he was an enemy he’d easily be able to discover that she’d been housing the leaf ninja. 

Pathetic. He thought. 

"Yeah... they should've... they should be in this village still?" He tilted the host's head. " I was taken... a few days ago? Yeah um.... I really need to find them. Can you please tell me? Even if it was their last location. Please?" 

He nearly broke the act when he felt her Sensei's chakra flair and then mask itself. So he was going to come out and meet us then? Wonderful. He wondered if the Sensei knew something was wrong with his student if he knew that, while this was her body, it wasn't her. If they really thought about it, his student wouldn't ever be how he remembered her. She was still.... her just.... different. By the time he was finished with her, she'd be the perfect host. She was already clever, but she was young and naive and he could use that against her. He could turn her against her village, turn her to him. 

He really wanted to plan. 

"I'm so sorry." The woman said, emotion welling up and causing her voice to crack. 

He could just imagine how the host must look. Small and fragile and covered in gore, and _perfect._ She would look perfect, but humans don't share the same... taste as him. He allowed more tears to well up behind the host's eyes. 

"Please? I really need to find them. I don't.... I can't do it on my own. Please.... even if you know their last known location... something. Please." He let his voice break and a small sob flow loose. Maybe crying was useful... if only to use it against someone. 

The woman remained silent, looking behind her once again before looking back.

"Please, Please. They did something to me." He continued, allowing more emotion out. Now the body was shaking from suppressed sobs, and gasping for breath. "They did something awful, please just help me! They... they... I didn't want to. I had too, I had too." He allowed all the emotion to burst. Soon he was on his knees and bawling. He really hated tears, no matter how useful they were. 

He'd already felt her sensei leave the house and circle around the perimeter. Most likely checking to see if this was a trap. It was... in a different way he supposed. One they wouldn't see coming. Or maybe they would. He’d been used like this before. He thought with bitter anger. He wished it would’ve worked out, then he could’ve wiped out a village of vermin that felt the need to enslave his brethren. To enslave him. 

The Sensei was making his way toward the crying body. Most likely deeming it really his student. Feeling pity no doubt, He thought with disgust. As if she needed pity. No she needed a teacher who could teach her how to survive, to teach her how to be her true self. To teach her the art of killing. Not some weak vermin.

He allowed her fingers to clench in the dirt and bowed his head. "Please." He gasped out, tears spilling over the eyes and onto his clenched fingers. 

A hand fell onto the host's shoulder. The sensei fell for the trap. 

"Sakura?" He asked, voice soft. So this was his host's name then? Fitting. She was a fragile little thing. But he didn't want to keep her that way. She'd be more useful if she was stronger. 

"Sakura?" The man asked again, gently shaking her. 

The creature could hear the mistrust in his voice, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. So he still didn't believe us then? Good. 

He flung himself at the sensei, a powerful man he noted, and started to wail. The cries were loud and pathetic but in a heart-wrenching way. At least he hoped they were. He'd only heard it's type of wail when everything was lost... so he wasn't sure. He just tried his best to mimic them. 

"Sensei!" He cried, "I was so scared. I was so so scared." He cried pitifully, allowing the thin arms to wrap around the man. "I couldn't... I..." He let himself fall into a sob again. 

How sad was it that these people seemed to think it was her based on her crying? Just how much of a weak cry baby was his host? Another thing he'd need to change. Maybe one of the first things he would change. He had no use for a cry baby. Tears were a weakness.

"I'm sure you were." The man said, trying and failing to be soothing. "How'd you escape?" He asked. 

So he was pressing for answers was he? Still didn't trust her? Smart but annoying. 

"I don't know! They had me in chains, locked away. It was so dark Sensei. I couldn't see anything and then... then the chains just fell. I was so scared. It was so dark and the men...." He broke into tears again. "They would've followed me. I had too, I had too." 

"What did you do Sakura?" His voice was a little harder this time, even more wary. 

"I didn't have a choice... I couldn't.... I had to." He looked up, meeting the eyes of the man. Or... eye. Interesting. "I had to." 

"Sakura, you need to tell me what you did." 

He breathed in deeply, looking down. "I killed them." He whimpered.

He heard the woman's sharp inhale but the man made no move, no sound. At this point, he'd decided that enough was enough. He no longer wanted to play around in his host's body. So he allowed her to come back to the surface. Slowly, not to allow her to get used to it, but to allow him to get a sense of her mind. She was confused and scared it would seem. Perfect, he thought, let's see how she'll react. 

He knew that she'd tried to fight his control, something irritating, if not slightly amusing. Showing she wasn't the type to trust... completely. So would she trust her team? Or would I be able to sow confusion and mistrust? To make her rely on me and me alone?

Sakura blinked, bright light filling her eyes. Where was she? She felt a heavy weight on her shoulder and her arms wrapped around a warm... body. With a scream, she threw herself away. Blindly trying to get her limbs to work instead of being tangled as she tried to get away from another body. She didn't want to see.... all the red again. She didn’t want to see what the creature did with her hands. 

As she scrambled away she hunched over, chest heaving as vomit spewed from her lips. She could still feel the tackiness of the blood. The sharpness of the bone chips, she could still taste blood on her teeth. More vomit spewed, as she heaved, retching.

"Oh god. Oh god... please don't be another one. Please don't be another body." She gasped out loud. "It's ok. You didn't do it. You didn't do it.... You're fine. You're fine." She was gasping for breath, struggling to breathe and lay, limp, on the ground. She hadn't killed anybody. Not truly. Her... body maybe.... but not her. She lay gasping, but the vomit seemed to have stilled. 

"Sakura?" A male voice questioned a familiar voice, but not... the creatures. 

She looked up, eyes wide as she noted the one who spoke. "Kakashi-Sensei?" 

She looked around her, she was in a village. Outside. "Where... where am I? What... what's... I don't understand." 

She met the gaze of Kakashi, noting his narrowed eye. He seemed to be studying her in confusion. Or maybe suspicion. He didn't think she was a spy did he? What if she was? What if that was why the creature was put in her?

"What's the last thing you remember?" He asked, still studying her. 

"The last thing... The..." She gripped her head, gasping and struggling to move. "I killed them! I killed them. I'm horrible! I killed them!" She stood, stumbling as she tried to run away. There's no way he'd let her near the others. She was a monster. She couldn’t let it get out and hurt her friends. She wouldn’t let it. 

The world spun and she felt gravity weigh her down. 

The world went dark.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sakura awoke with a start, sitting up. She was really beginning to dread waking up. Almost every time it was for something horrible. Not that she hated falling asleep any less. 

"SAKURA-CHAN!" A loud voice boomed before arms were wrapped around her middle and a face pushed into her shoulder. She tensed, hating how her hands clenched and her body stood still. But it wasn’t like she’d normally like Naruto hugging her anyway. But usually, it just irritated her not filling her with whatever she was feeling. No. She couldn’t let herself become like this. She needed a hug right now She wished it was her mother or… Ino-chan… No, she couldn’t think about them. She had a mission to get through. She needed to push all that aside. 

"H-hey Naruto." She greeted, voice a soft murmur. She'd placed her hands, not knowing what to do with them, into his hair. Copying Kakashi-sensei she supposed, ruffling the blonde locks of her teammate. She couldn't shake the deep wrongness in her gut. She should be happy she’s safe. And yet… it was almost like her mind was trying to tell her she was safer in the cave. No! Ignore it. She thought harshly to herself. You are just letting paranoia get to you. 

"We were so worried! We couldn't find you and those two bastards didn't know and we were so worried and we tried to find you but it's like you just disappeared off the face of the earth and then Sensei was super pissed and I'm pretty sure he killed one of the bastards and we were so scared, even Sasuke! I'm so glad you're back! Dattebayo!" Naruto rambled into her stomach. She wasn't entirely sure but she thought she could feel a growing dampness on her... shirt? 

She didn't have a shirt last time she checked, the men had ripped it off when they... sealed the creature into her. Speaking of things out of the norm since when was she in a bedroom on a bed? 

"Naruto? Where am I?" She asked, pulling her hands from his hair. I remember seeing Kakashi and crying and…. Oh god, the bodies. She nearly jolted as she remembered the bodies. The sudden urge to bury herself in the bed and bawl her eyes out became strong. 

"Oh! We're at gramps house!" He said, pulling away, a grin plastered on his face. She studied his face. His eyes had a slight shine to them, like fresh tears unable to fall. His cheeks were red so was his nose. His grin looked strained, the corners slightly downturn. She didn't think he was as happy as he tried to look. But he’d managed to keep me out of my thoughts. So even if he’s worried and scared and feeling just as pitiful as I do he’s still helping. 

"You mean Tazuna-San's house?" 

"Yeah! Him and his daughter and grandson." 

She nodded, pushing the heavy blanket off her. Odd she hadn't even noticed it. She normally would’ve noticed it. It’s not that big of a deal, she thought, you just got back from being kidnapped and passed out so like obviously you’re going to be out of it. Shaking her head she tried to rise. 

"Oh no! You can't leave! You were injured!" Naruto rushed out, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

He was being oddly.... more.... laid back? No. It was more like...more like.... careful. He was being extremely careful around her. Was he scared of her? Did they know? About the creature and all the people... all the people it had her kill?

"I'm on bed rest?" She asked, trying to smile wryly. She didn't think she received it if Naruto's brief grimace was to go by anything. 

"No. Sensei said it would be better if you... stayed in bed." 

She wanted to groan. Really? She wasn't that injured, she couldn't even feel the telltale sting or ache of injury. Really she felt fine. 

**"They're scared of you."** The creature hissed in her mind, causing her to zone out. 

"Why would they be scared of me?" She asked, only to answer her own question. "Is it because I killed all those people?" 

The creature snorted, warm air hitting her face and causing her hair to flutter. She sat, letting the water lap at her legs. The water was warm this time, not cool like it was the past few times she'd been in it. Though she supposed when you're being dragged under it would seem cold. 

**"They're scared because it's more than likely your Sensei found the seal on your chest."**

"So they found out about you.... why would they..." Then it hit her. He'd said humans called him a tailed beast. A tailed beast.... Like the nine tails that attacked their village. She had a demon sealed into her? 

"I-I WHAT? You're... I... no.... that can't be... that's.... you're lying!" She yelled, bunching her fists and standing. It was lying. There was no way. There.... no. She wouldn't believe it. 

**"Lying?"** The creature -tailed beast- asked. Voice dropping an octave. It sent a jolt through her body, causing her to shiver. **"LYING?"** It roared, something, most likely it's fist or something, slammed down. 

The water rippled, overflowing as it surrounded her, and the world shook. 

**"WHY WOULD I LIE?"** His red eye seemed to swell with rage as he glared down at her. **"I have been far too lenient with you."** He hissed. 

"I... I don't understand. That shouldn't... that can't be possible. The tailed beasts were monsters of unfathomable rage. You couldn't contain that. You shouldn't be able to contain that." 

The creature seemed to settle, no longer glaring down at her with such intensity that it took her breath away and filled her with ice. Instead only a hot pressure. 

"You..." She trailed off, staring at him. It shouldn't be possible, She thought, but that doesn't mean it isn't. If people could do that.... they'd have weapons of mass destruction. Which caused another thought to burst free. Is that what the Fourth did? Did he not kill the Nine-Tails but instead... seal it.... seal it into somebody!?!

The creature chuckled. **"I knew you were clever."** He praised his voice sickly sweet. Almost like candy.... but much more.... Sinister. Almost oozing with false niceness.. 

She looked up at him, eyes wide. 

**"You would be correct in your guess. That man did manage to subdue the nine-tails. And effectively seal him into a human."**

She frowned. Did that mean that.... anybody could have been... have been selected to hold the... beast? 

**"You really should ask these questions out loud."** The creature -tailed beast- rumbled with amusement. **"But no. Not just anybody can have us sealed into them."**

Her eyes were wide. "You can read my thoughts?" She asked. 

**"Our bond is a little.... different then I'm used to I'll admit."** He spoke, **"It's far more freeing in ways... but also far more.... complex. I'm not sure exactly how they sealed me into you.... or what they used as the seal."**

"So you can read my thoughts?!?" 

**"I'm sure if you tried hard enough you could..."** He paused, staring at her. **"I'm not actually sure...."**

She shook her head. "So what am I then?" A monsters host?

**"No. Not a monsters host. The term you humans call it.... a jinchuuriki."**

"A jinchuuriki?" The word felt weird,

The creature remained silent. But something was dragging her away. Soon she no longer could see him. 

"Sakura? Sakura?" A voice was calling, she could hear the worry. Why were they worried? She was alright wasn't she? Yeah, she was alright. 

She met Naruto's wide-eyed gaze. Finding herself drawn into those blue orbs. There was a.... kinship she felt with him. Something... weird... that made her feel like he'd understand. That he'd understand what she was going through. But how could that be? 

**"Perhaps you should look into the Uzumaki line some more."** The beast whispered into her mind. **"Then you'll know the secret."**

Could she be feeling this kinship because of the beast? Could he influence her? Oh god…. she could be turned into a monster by him. Or maybe she’d be trapped in a cage again and used as a weapon. That’s what the hosts were used for right? Unleashing the beasts?

She shook her head, shaking herself out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry Naruto... I zoned out. What's wrong?" She asked, eyes wide. 

Large clear tears overflowed out of his eyes and down his cheeks. His nose wasn't running yet thankfully. His expression screamed dispair. 

"I'm so happy you're ok!" He wailed, throwing himself at her for another hug. 

She patted his head. The kinship feeling intensified. She wanted to figure out why and how it was possible. She'd never felt it before so why now? 

"I'm ok Naruto-Kun. I'm ok." She soothed, stroking his hair. Who knew Naruto was so tactile. There was so much she needed to learn. 

"I'm ok." She whispered.


	6. Chapter 5

She wasn't sure how long she and Naruto were on the bed, her holding him as he cried. She hadn't even known he did cry. He was always so happy and carefree and just.... not sad. But now he was like a little child who'd lost his favourite pet only for it to be found. Tears of fear and anguish but also relief and happiness. 

Her heart warmed thinking about it. She didn't want to be seen as a pet per se, she doubted anyone wanted to be a pet, but the fact that Naruto genuinely seemed to have missed her and feared for her. That he was so happy she was back and safe and healthy that he started to shed tears for her. She felt... loved. Sure her parents loved her, but that love was a given. Parents were supposed to love their children, and yeah Ino may have cried over her if she'd truly gotten hurt and been happy she was fine... but she hadn't been friends with Ino since the whole... Sasuke thing. But instead here was a boy who had no one else, just like she did. Here was a boy who was crying on her because of her. Not because they were family or close friends. Naruto was practically a stranger to her. And yet he still was crying for her. 

But at the same time... what if it was the beast that was making her feel fond of certain people? What if this wasn't how she truly felt about Naruto and she was being manipulated? Would she even know? No. She... how she felt about Naruto was real. She wouldn't let it be false. She needed this. _He_ needed it.

Her fingers continued to comb through his blonde locks, even after he'd stopped crying and instead had fallen asleep. Like a little puppy. She softly stroked his hair, hoping that at least that it would take her mind off everything. She doubted it would last, however. She contained to stroke his hair even after Sasuke walked in. Ignoring the way her fingers twitched as she felt the urge to escape. 

Sasuke said nothing, had given her a look and that was it. She took it to mean that he wasn't as caring as she thought he was. Long gone were the dreams of being swept off her feet, being the perfect mother, the perfect wife. To help Sasuke be happy. She sorta resented him in a way. To be allowed to be so... cold. Uncaring. To have let his past change him so drastically. She wouldn't get that chance. She had to pretend everything was alright. To hide what had actually happened. She had to hide the fact that she was no better than a blood hungering mongrel.

So she said nothing, stared at him in silence, her fingers buried deeply in Naruto's hair. Sasuke in turn stared at her. They made an understanding in the silence. Both expecting that the other was damaged. At least Sakura thought they did. She wasn't completely sure. She was never sure of anything when it came to Sasuke. She used to love that about him. The mysterious aura, now it bothered her. She wasn't sure she could trust him. She couldn't help but feel like she couldn't trust him. And that scared her. 

**"Never trust an Uchiha."** The beast hissed, voice filled with hate. **"They bring nothing but ruin in their wake."**

She hadn't thought much about the Uchiha. Didn't really know anything other then they'd been wiped out by a man, and that they had the Sharingan. Really she didn't know anything about her team. She didn't know if they had family, Sasuke didn't but that was public knowledge so it didn't count, she didn't know anything. How could she have been so blind? Why did it take her having some demon sealed in her to see that?

She knew Naruto wanted to be the Hokage, his reasoning though she didn't know. She knew he liked Ramen. But what kept him up at night? What made him happy? What made Naruto? Who was Naruto truly? 

She knew Sasuke wanted power and vengeance and that he was bitter and angry but she didn't know the foods he liked. The colour that brought a smile to his face. Did he even smile anymore? 

She knew nothing about Kakashi-sensei. She didn't know what he liked, or what he hated. He seemed so happy and carefree but he was a ninja so... what did he have to smile about? He had to have lived through the war. 

**"You shouldn't care about your team."** The voice whispered, causing her fingers to clench in Naruto's hair. She relaxed them when Naruto jolted. But his breathing was still even. He was still asleep. She needed to work on her reactions. If she reacted as strongly as she did every time the beast hissed in her mind she'd get caught. 

She ignored the voice. The creature. All it brought with it was pain and death and she'd had enough of that. She still couldn't get the vision of red out of her mind. Of walls being coated in blood, and bone fragments. She could still feel the grit buried underneath her nails, the stickiness of it coating her skin. 

Shaking her head she looked at the door. She'd been on the bed awhile, Sasuke was already back. She was just waiting for Kakashi-sensei. He'd know what to do, how to help her. So why did she still feel like she shouldn't tell him? Why?

 **"They'll hate you. Fear you."** The voice chimed in, sounding pleased with itself. **"They'll turn you into a weapon and lock you up. Only letting you out to kill their enemies. You would be just a tool to them. You are just a tool to them."**

She started to shake, fingers stilling. They would use her to kill people? More then she'd already done? They'd use her?

 **"You poor little naive girl."** The creature rumbled, in mock pity. **"Do you not know the life on a ninja? They kill and maim and lie all for the village."**

In truth, she only chose to be a ninja to impress Sasuke, to try her hand at winning him over. She never actually put that much thought into what a Ninja did. Or why she wanted to be one. She'd wanted to be strong and confident once. To be the perfect housewife. Beautiful, strong and kind. Graceful and perfect. But now her hands were stained with blood. She was a killer, even if she wasn't in control of her body. When her hands ripped into people when her nails scraped and slashed and her teeth tore. She wasn't kind. Wasn't beautiful or graceful. She was clumsy and weak. She moved and fought out of desperation, not in the confidence of her skills. 

**"Don't forget you're vicious and cruel."** The creature rasped, gently. **"And a clever little thing. In time you will be perfect."**

She tried very hard to believe him. She knew she was cruel, that part was true. And in her desperation caused her to act... in less than human ways. The bodies that piled up testified to that. But she didn't think she'd be perfect. She didn't want to think about the warmth that welled up at his compliment. That... thing... was a monster. 

With a shake of her head, she allowed Naruto to rest on her, wondering if he'd slept the days she'd been captured. If he's spent the nights restless and sick with worry. It almost brought a butter smile to her face. To think one she'd treated so horribly would mean so much to her in a short time. To think she'd prefer him over Sasuke. Over anybody really. 

She allowed herself to fall backwards, head hitting the pillow as her hair fanned out. She wasn't worried about looking cute anymore. Not now. Beauty meant nothing if it got you killed. She couldn't protect herself, Naruto, with her hair. She couldn't protect them with her milky skin, smooth and unmarked. She had nothing to show for power. Instead, she looked like a fragile flower. Some stupid decoration. And look where it got her? A vessel for a tailed beast. All because she was weak. 

**"One day soon you'll be powerful."** The beast whispered. **"Listen to me and you'll be able to protect everyone you've ever cared about."**

A few days ago she thought Kakashi-sensei would've been the ones to utter those words. That he'd teach them to be powerful, and then Sasuke would fall in love with her. But instead, it was a demon sealed within her, who'd used her body to commit monstrous acts. A few days ago she would've been terrified of the words uttered by the demon, of the meaning. But now? Now she knew she had a goal. 

She wasn't going to be anyone's tool. Everything she did would be for herself and the people she'd cared about. She was going to be perfect still.

_Now she knew she wouldn't be weak any longer._


	7. Chapter 6

She'd fallen asleep, waiting for Kakashi to return. 

When she woke up, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she'd noted that Kakashi-sensei was watching them. She couldn't see him very well, the room being dark, but she could feel his gaze on her. She wasn't sure what he all knew or if he even knew anything about what happened to her, but she was sure he'd have questions regardless. She laid silently for a little, trying to keep her breathing even. She wasn't sure why she didn't want him to know.

Sighing as she shook herself out of her hesitation. There was little point in it. She needed his help.

She tried to move off the bed, failing as a heavyweight pinned her legs. Naruto, it would seem, was still curled up on her lap like some little puppy. He was snoring softly, hands clutching her new shirt. It was sorta cute. She ignored the body and looked at Kakashi-sensei again. He'd moved closer when her attention wasn't directed at him. She ignored the small amount of fear that burst up. She was never scared of Kakashi-sensei before. 

**"Be careful."** The voice hissed. **"Don't trust him."**

She tried and failed, to shake off the paranoia the sprang up with the beast's words. She wouldn't let it affect her. She'd worked hard to get where she was. Maybe not as hard as she should've but she wasn't going to let some beast take that away from her. 

"Sensei." She greeted. "I was wondering when you'd get back." Her words shook slightly and she hoped he wouldn't notice.

He moved to sit on the bed. "I'm back."

"How long was I out?" She asked, staring down at Naruto's slumbering form. Her finger twitched, nervous energy she was sure. Her parent's always said she fidgeted as a child.

"No more than a day." He said, voice light. 

She nodded, unsure what else to say. Did he want her to talk about what happened? To tell him why they took her? What they did to her? How she escaped? Or maybe... maybe he didn't want her to talk at all? Maybe he'd leave it be and pretend it never happened? Would _she_ pretend nothing happened?

"Sakura..." He began, pausing and looking at her. He looked away again. "Sakura... you said you killed people before you passed out."

She gulped, she did didn't she? She'd told him that when she'd registered that he wasn't another body. That she wasn't dragged up to see the slaughter her body was capable of. She couldn't tell him that, she couldn't _trust_ him! What was she thinking? Of course, she could trust him. 

"I did." She said, voice weak. 

Kakashi-sensei remained silent, looking at the wall directly in front of him. She wondered how often he actually talked to people how'd gone through... who'd ended up hurt. Did he feel uncomfortable? Did he just not care? Or maybe it was because he didn't understand what she went through? Did he ever end up in a position of being captured? Or... She wasn't sure. Yet another thing she didn't know. 

**"Of course you don't understand."** The voice hissed, darkly. **"You're just a naive little thing."**

Her mouth hardened into a thin line as she glared at the wall, trying very hard to ignore the voice. 

**"A weak little being whose world is only about her. But we'll fix that. I'll fix you."** It whispered, voice sickly sweet. But she heard the hard edge. The double meaning of his words. Her stomach filled with dread. She didn't think she'd last with him in her head. She needed to tell somebody. She _had_ to tell someone.

"Sensei.... I don't think those men were with Gato." She said, hands rising to bury themselves in Naruto's hair. He stirred slightly, before stilling. One good thing about him she supposed. He slept like the dead. 

Was she really doing this? Was she really going to tell him? It wasn't like she had a choice... but it felt.... why was she so scared?

"Oh?"

He just said one word but Sakura could hear the curiosity. She knew he wanted to know, that he suspected something. What he suspected she didn't know. Did he already know about the beast? Should she tell him about the beast? 

"They never mentioned him... ever. They didn't even know I was a ninja," She paused, breathing in deeply. Trying to bring what little courage she had up.

**"Don't you dare tell him."** The voice hissed, angrily. **"Do you know what he'll do to you? He'll kill you."**

She breathed in deeply again, before breathing out. She could do this. 

FlashBack

_Her head hurt. She'd hit the ground harshly when one of the men slapped her. More of a backhand really, catching the entirety of her left side. She fought to get up, pushing herself, arms like jelly as they wobbled underneath her weight. She looked up at the faces of the men staring down at her. Struggling to getaway. Not only were her arms jelly but so were her legs._ _All she wanted to do was go to the bathroom in peace. She'd left to go to the bathroom, and then she gets jumped. How fair was that? She thought with despair. This wasn't fair. Why her?_ _One of the men laughed as he noted the girl trying and failing to get up. He walked over, sitting on her legs, trapping her. His hand grabbed her hair and pulled her head back. She gulped painfully, her neck straining from how far he'd tilted her head back and the force he was using to tilt his head back._

_"Looky here boys. We found ourselves the perfect one. Weak and pathetic." He sneered, giving her a good look at his yellowed teeth._

_The others laughed, staring down at her, sneers and smirks on their face._

_She stared in horror as the group moved in closer around her._

_"Now we'll be able to take on the hidden villagers. We gonna have a monster of our own. I'd like to see them try and stop us." One of the men laughed darkly. "We'll kill 'em."_

Flashback end

"When they captured me, they were laughing and talking. I didn't know what to do, so I laid there and listened. They were talking about getting the power to take on the Hidden Villages. Using some sort of monster." She said, ignoring the beast as he raged inside her. She had to do this. She _needed_ to get help. 

She could almost see the water swirling in large waves as he lashed out in his cage. She could faintly hear his roars of rage. She had no doubt he'd make life hard for her, at least until he calmed down. Or maybe he was the type to ruin her? Did she just make an enemy? Would it even matter if he was sealed inside of her? Maybe she could have him removed. She could do that, couldn't she? Surely they would have a way.

She heard Kakashi's sharp inhale. So he knew that that was bad as well then. He most likely guessed why they'd taken her then. 

**"You stupid whelp of a girl! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!"** The Beast bellowed from within her head. Causing a sharp pain. **"You have caused both of our deaths."**

"Shut up. I don't care. Better then to be stuck with you." She said back harshly, staring up into his large red eye. She was trying to be braver then she felt. 

She'd been right when she thought that the water would be raging because of his anger. The water was rippling and the waves were at her waist, lapping against her harshly. Taking all she had to not let it knock her over, wanting to stay above the water. She would not allow the beast to have her body again, fearing what he would do. 

**"Stuck with me? I'm the only one who can make you stronger. The only one who can protect you."** It hissed, the water pushing against her harder. 

So he wanted to take over her body then? What did he want to kill Kaka.... He did! He wanted to kill him! No! She wouldn't let him. 

"YOU STAY IN THAT CAGE WHERE YOU BELONG!" She screamed. "YOU MONSTER!" 

A dark chuckled followed her words, as the eye loomed closer **"If I'm the monster what does that make you?"**

She stared at him, not wanting to answer. 

**"You willingly let a monster out of you're body. Allowing it to use it as the monster pleased. As a result, it slaughtered a whole group of people. So I repeat myself, what does that make you."**

She glared at him, turning to walk away. She didn't have time for this. She didn't need this. 

**"That makes you the Monsters Keeper. Which puts me under your responsibility."** The creature spat.

"Shut up." She cried. "Just shut up!!!"

**"You've already failed."** He sneered, amused. **"Just think how easy it would be for the monster to break free if you've already let it."**

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to leave, sick to her stomach. She could still hear his dark chuckle. Still hear his threat. She wouldn't let him. He would not get free, would not use her body. 

"I'm scared Kakashi-Sensei." She whispered.


	8. A/N Please read!

**I'm not dropping the story!**

However, I have been busy with some other things (such as my other fanfics and work) So while I try to make time to update/write for all my fanfics some are unfortunately left neglected for a bit. I have updated all the chapters in this fanfic and will continue to update any new ones I write. When I'll update is up in the air for now. (I've never been good and making time for things :(. Sorry.) But I will try my best to keep the updates frequent.

Well thank you for reading this, and I hope you have a good day! xoxo


	9. Chapter 7

4 days later

The beast had remained silent after she told Kakashi-sensei about what they did to her. She couldn't help but think he was planning something, some way to take over her body. She had to be on her toes, which meant she had to get strong enough to keep it at bay. 

So for the past few days, she'd done nothing but meditate and try to get her reserves up. WIth more chakra, she had a higher chance of keeping it in. She didn't know if it was working, had nothing to test out whether her chakra reserves were getting bigger. She couldn't feel her chakra coils, didn't know how to test them. 

Kakashi had interrupted her daily meditation, wanting her to join the boys in training. She was excited, wanting to push herself. To do something more than to just sit on her butt all day and meditate. 

He had her walk up the tree, she knew the boys had been working on this for a while and felt discouraged. There was no way she'd be able to climb a tree using only chakra. But soon she found herself staring at the massive tree, wondering just how much she needed. She saw that Naruto had damaged the tree with his steps, causing it to have small explodes and craters. Sasuke had a mix of both, causing small craters of his on, or just slipping off. She looked back at her tree, studying it. 

"Just to the top branch?" She asked again, wanting to make sure. 

"Go ahead," Kakashi-sensei said, his voice was more gentle then she was used to but she assumed it was because of her kidnapping. The whole group seemed to baby her that much more because of it.

She stared at the tree for a little while longer, not caring as Sasuke snorted from his tree's or as Naruto shouted encouragements. She didn't care as all eyes were on her. SHe wanted to make sure she could do this. She had to do this right. She wouldn't be the weakest link. 

With a deep breath, she placed a foot on the bark of the tree. She allowed her chakra to coat the soles of her foot, feeling silly as she stood there. She pulled a little chakra back as she felt the bark strain from it. Making sure that the bark didn't feel weird in any way, she breathed in.

She raised her other foot, quickly coating it in the same amount of chakra. She stood on the tree sideways for a few moments before she started to calmly walk up the tree. So far she managed to keep her Chakra from wavering, and kept the equal amount of both feet. It wasn't as hard as she was expecting. It was only a matter of finding the right amount of chakra. 

She laughed as she made it to the branch she eas instructed to go to, walking up to it before she was standing directly on it. She sat, staring down at her team. She'd done it. She managed to prove that she was capable. But did this mean her chakra reserves were getting better? 

"Well boys, looks like she did it first try." Kakashi-sensei taunted, causing Sasuke to shoot her a glare and Naruto to look awed. 

She frowned, why did he use her to get them to work harder? They had to have known that even if she was capable of this that she was still far behind the boys. So why was he pitting them against her? 

She quickly coated her feet again, making sure she had the right amount, walking down the tree again. She wanted to try and repeat it over and over, to experiment with how much or little charka would do. But she doubted her team would like that. The boys would probably think you were showing off. She thought bitterly. Rubbing it into their faces. 

She quickly walked over to Kakashi and asked to be able to return to the house. She didn't want to be around them any longer. Sasuke was glaring at her and Naruto was staring at her in awe and she felt very weird about the attention she was getting. Besides, she could use the house as practice instead. She wouldn't be able to use more chakra then what she needed, lest she breaks the house. But it was still better than to be watched in varying degrees of hate and awe. Better to be used then a tool.

When given permission, she quickly made her way back to the house. Unable to stop the straying glances over her shoulders and around her. She still couldn't quite shake the feeling that any minute another group would up out and take her. That she'd be chained and stripped and crying and weak all over again. She never wanted to go through that ever again. She couldn't. 

Flash back

_She struggled weakly as she was held tightly against the man. Her wrists and ankles tied and her mouth gagged. All she could do was let out muffled cries of terror. And all they seemed to do was amuse the man holding her. She couldn't kick properly and wasn't strong enough to break out from the rope tieing her. His shoulder jolted painfully against her stomach every time he took a step. She had no doubt she'd bruise. The hand was holding her tightly against him, was pressed against her lower back. Far lower then she would have liked, to low that made her want to squirm away from him. But she couldn't, she could do nothing to him. She couldn't even kick or hit him properly. She was just a sack of flour thrown over his shoulder, only instead of flour, she was a body._

_He was located in the middle of the group, others surrounding them. Most likely to capture her again if she'd managed to escape from the man holding her. She wanted to scream or shout. But nothing came just frustrated tears._

_She was such a cry baby._

_She wished Kakashi was here, or Sasuke or even Naruto. She wanted to be set free. She didn't want to be here, she wasn't sure what would even happen to her. Would she be sold into human trafficking? Or did Gato want something from her? He wanted a ninja to bargain with, didn't he? To use against the others. Was he going to kill her in front of the others if they didn't do what he wanted?!?_

_She was crying harder, sobs racking her body, causing more pain and discomfort as a rib jolted against his shoulder. He shifted, causing her to fall further back over his shoulder. The shoulder digging, once again into her stomach. His hand now shifted to lay on her butt._

_She kicked, trying to knock the handoff._

_What if the men were on their own, not acting from Gato's orders. What if they took me by chance? What if they... She felt vomit well up into her throat and she swallowed thickly. Please let her be wrong! She begged. Let it be anything but that!_

_"Don't want ya to escape now do we?" He asked, amusement colouring his tone._

_She whimpered into the gag, causing some of the other men to look at her. One sent her a grin, paired with leering eyes._

_Oh, kami. She closed her eyes, feeling tears slip out. I'd rather die. I'd rather die. Kami please let lightning hit them. Or let her be rescued. Please don't let these men touch me.  
_

Flashback end

She found herself ripped out of her memories, huddling on the ground. A dark feeling welling up in her, wanting to burst free from her skin. She groaned in pain, clutching her head as she knelt and pressed it into the ground. 

**"We don't have time for weakness."** The beast hissed, voice dark. The first time he'd talked to her. 

She clutched her head tighter, teeth clenched as she hissed in pain. She didn't reply. She couldn't. The pain in her head made it to hard to think. Hard to do anything but clutch her head in misery.

 **"Stop wasting tears. You have work to do."** It ordered voice cold. **"I will not have a weak host."**


	10. Chapter 8

Sakura sat, hands bundled up in the fabric of the blanket on the bed. The fabric was cheap, scratchy and honestly horrible to the touch, but it gave her so much comfort in this moment. The blanket was kinda atrocious, with its muddy green colour and feeling, but she wanted to keep it forever. 

I mean I wished I had Naruto's hair in my hands or something like that. But the blanket will do. At least it gives me a way to hide if I need. She thought darkly. 

**A blanket isn't going to offer much in hiding.** The beast rumbled dryly. 

She stayed silent, not having the energy to talk to him. She didn't have the energy for anything. Her body was sore ad aching and she felt terrible and it just never stopped. Training and training and training. At first, she was pumped, she was going to get stronger. Someone would help her get stronger, even if it was from a murderous demon sealed inside of her. But then it was hours and hours of hard work. Hours after hours with barely any breaks. Her muscles strained from the overuse. Her mind refused to work properly. She wasn't sure how long she could keep up her training. It wasn't even like she was the only one training. Both her teammates were training hard as well. Mostly trying to master the tree walking exercise but they stayed out in the forest, where there could be dangerous enemies lurking, just to train. 

**You're weak.** The beast rasped, she could hear the water moving as it pulled her into her mindscape. 

She opened her eyes to find herself laying in the water. The water was calmer than it usually was, so at least she knew the beast was in a good mood. 

As she sat up, water dripping down her back and causing her to shiver from the cold, she stared into the large red eye. She'd gotten used to it, seeing as lately, this was his recent favourite way to... annoy her. Sadly it was working. 

**" Humans are easily irritated. You are no different."** The creature grumbled. 

Sakura had gleamed, from the wat her spoke, that he had a fairly large dislike of humans. She couldn't exactly blame him. She knew first hand just how cruel and horrible they could be. She'd been the victim of it, and she was _human_ , he wasn't. She couldn't even begin to imagine how demons were treated. Other than being sealed into hosts and used as weapons. 

**"Your pity is not needed nor is it wanted."** The beast snapped, irritation welled up in his voice. The water rippling in soft waves. 

"I wasn't giving you pity." She snapped back. "And quit reading my thoughts." 

**Your thoughts aren't exactly appealing."** "However this... seal is different. I would need to take a closer look at it to figure out why it allows me to see you're thoughts. It would be impossible for me to edit the seal without understanding what it does." The beast grumbled. 

"Yeah, I get that. Which is why we need to talk to the Hokage about this." She said, standing. "We need their help whether you trust them or not. Besides I can't even get you the resources you need. Other than being killed or used as a weapon what's the worse that could happen?"

 **"You are a very frustrating host."** The beast hissed. Red-eye closing as he let out a sigh. 

"But you must admit I have a point. We're both going to be unhappy in this situation. If we get control maybe we'll have some semblance of having some sort of.... well something."

 **"I will not allow my host to use me."** The beast thundered. **"I have no intention of letting you win that easily."**

"Do you think I want to be _used_? We're both in the situation. You're stuck with me until we can remove you." 

**"Just for them to seal me in a host that's willing to use me? No thank you. I'm investing too much of my effort and knowledge into you. I'm not waisting this."**

"Excuse me?!? No. I've had enough of this. Just shut up and leave me alone. I don't know why I even bother to talk to you." 

**"Face it human. You need me."** She could hear the smugness in his voice. Could imagine the satisfied smirk on his face. 

"I don't need anybody." She hissed at him. 

The beast didn't offer her a reply, and she was thrown out of her own mind. So he was done talking, was he? Fine. 

She twisted the blanket tightly in her hands before throwing it aside. She didn't have time to be wasting away on a bed. She needed to be stronger. She needed to ask Kakashi for help. She needed to keep the demon at bay. 

She froze, craning her head to look at the door. Was that the sound of a bang? What was that noise? 

A scream pierced the air. Feminine and terrified. 

She jumped to her feet and rushed out. Zabuza was attacking.


	11. Chapter 9

It turns out she was wrong, or maybe she wasn't, she didn't actually know. Couldn't tell who was all attacking. All she knew was that the house was being swarmed by enemy ninja. They seemed to be after the kid and his mother. 

**Must want to use them as hostages.** The beast mused, sounding unconcerned about the fates of the two. And knowing him... he probably wasn't. **I suppose you'll need to make sure that doesn't happen.**

Sakura couldn't help but feel a wrongness spread through her. The way the beast was speaking... acting... something was wrong.

"What's going on?" She asked, out loud. 

One of the enemy ninja stood before her, looked at her with a confused grin. "You dumb or something brat?" He asked. 

"I wasn't _talking_ to you." She snapped, glaring at him. 

The man seemed even more confused, grin falling as his thick brows furrowed. "There's no one here with us brat. Are you crazy?" 

She sighed, the beast wasn't responding, and she needed to start fighting, so she could at least survive this.

And protect the bridge builder's family. She was a little worried about why she felt.... she didn't exactly _want_ to save them. And that was scary. Was the beast starting to... change her?

Or was she always so.... self-centered? Was it a bad thing that she didn't know? 

She shook her head. She couldn't concentrate on that, she'd deal with the... beast might be changing her later... right now she needed to focus on defeating the ninja and protecting the bridge builders family.

Sakura didn't have much time before the man before her attacked, whipping kunai at her with a powerful throw. With a stumbling step, she quickly deflected the kunai, jumping toward him, arm coming down as she did a slashing movement. 

It didn't do anything, seeing as he kicked her away. She fell, rolling on the floor. Spit dribbling from her lip. He'd managed to get a solid kick to her stomach. She scrambled out of the way as his foot slammed down, mere inches from her nose. She scrambled back faster, using her legs to propel her farther from the man. 

He was far out of her league, but then again maybe she could use that to her advantage? If he underestimated her then wouldn't she be able to catch him off guard and eliminate him? 

She shook her hands out, letting the tension go. She needed to survive this. 

The man grinned, and lunged at her.

And Sakura, well she let him hit her again. She was sent flying and hit the wall. She let her body crumple, waiting for him to take the bait and come closer to her. Sakura suppressed a grin. Her plan was working. She thought with glee as she watched through half-lidded eyes. The enemy was coming closer. 

**Like the fool he is, he comes toward a downed animal.** The beast rumbled in her mind, malice and dark amusement dripping from his words. She couldn't help but agree with him. It was a foolish move. 

"You down already little girl?" The man taunted, stepping closer. "That wasn't much fun. I thought leaf-ninja were supposed to be powerful? Though I suppose they are the soft village aren't they?" 

She stared up at him, as he pulled her head up by her hair. "Well look at that," He sneered. "She's still alive." 

**Show him my power. Show him just how perfect you can be.** The Beast hissed softly, and Sakura could feel the dark possessive tendrils of the beast. He was oddly proud of her even though she knew she'd done barely anything. She found herself liking someone being proud of her, even if it was a demon. 

With a small victorious grin of her own, she thrust the kunai into his neck, using her legs to push herself forward. Pushing the kunai farther and farther into the throat of the enemy. 

He dropped her, trying to push her away, rip the kunai free and clutch his throat. She felt the stick hot blood cling to her hands, nearly gagged at the sound of his gasping panicked gargles. 

She ripped the kunai free and blood sprayed her face, dripping. The man gargled louder, eyes rolling back. She wasn't actually sure how fast it would take to kill someone like this, but she knew it as never a clean death. 

She couldn't wait, she had to see if the mother and her son were safe.


End file.
